You'll be surprised how a drama free life will change your life.
Many people are indeed addicted to dramas. They seem like always bring the dramas into their lives, whether it's a toxic-relationship or a hyperbolic reaction towards simple things. They're always busy with this such things that actually don't really matter. It's very consuming and exhausting even though they don't realize it.
This post is a reminder that you don't need unnecessary dramas to make your life interesting. In fact, a drama free life will make your life even more fascinating and fun. Guaranteed.
Here is the guide on how you achieve a drama free life:
Focus on things that matter
Before you react to something or put your energy into something, always question yourself: Is it something you want to experience? Is it worth it to give off your energy to it? Is it good for yourself and your well-being for a long term? If the answer is yes, then go for it. If the answer is 60-90% yes or still a maybe, then you can give it a thought and consideration but not to jump in a hundred percent of your energy, play it slowly and nicely. If it's a less than 50% yes, then you can just pay attention and be cautious don't react to it immediately but self-reflect before giving it any responses. If it's a no and it gives you negative emotions or triggers, then you really need to go back working on yourself INTERNALLY, withdraw from the situation immediately but don't run away from what really matter - your internal problems that need to be fixed, corrected, or even nurtured.
You are who you surround yourself with
When your life seems surrounded by exhausting dramas, firstly you gotta check on the people around you. Sometimes it isn't about yourself, but your closest circle is. If you already mastered the art of focusing on things that truly matter, you'll know what to do. Every action indeed has a reaction, but choosing not to respond to things is also still a reaction. When the majority of people surround you are used to dramas; such as gossiping, spreading rumors, using the unfortunate stories about other people as entertainment, bullying, internet trolling, hate commenting, constantly complaining about life even on the tiny matters, mentally struggling but won't admit and rejecting any kind of supports regarding their wellbeing, etc.; you'll have your life full of negativity and it is tiring even when you're not doing anything on your own but responding to them or trying to help them.
First of all, it's not your responsibility to fix them especially when changing is not even in their agenda. Second, without the unnecessary dramas, your life will be so much lighter so that you can focus on expanding your own life even more.
One thing that you can do in this kind of situation is to let go. It's not an easy task, of course, because you love them. They're your beloved friends who you grow up with, or a family member, or your significant others. We get that, it's hard to do. But believe so, that nothing you can do but to change how you'd respond to their negativity by letting go your expectations or the idea that you could change or heal them.
There are three stages of letting go:
STAGE 1. You're no longer attached to and affected by what they do or say. You're letting go of your expectation on how they should behave, say, or act and you're at peace and not bothered nor participate in anything negative they do; even, you can respond with harmless jokes or divert the conversations without trying to change their perspectives or give them a moral lecture. If you've tried this technique and you haven't gain your peace or still bothered, move to stage two.
STAGE 2. You still find them annoying or unpleasant to be with, but you know when and how to get away from the situation without making any scenes. You've read and understood about their behavioral patterns and you know how and when to get away to find your peace. You're no longer bothered to make things right but letting them be just how the way they are. You know how to control yourself and understand that it's not worth the energy to respond to their negativity. If you still find it hard to do, try stage three.
STAGE 3. You find it hard to control yourself around these people and you tend to lose control over yourself. You might feel one or two maybe three or more of these symptoms when you're around them: anger, negative self-talk, self-pity, frustration, unease, self-doubt, shame, guilt, envy, jealousy, fear, grief, sadness, and/or despair. You cannot get these feelings away when you're with them or even when you're not with them but still have a bond. It's a sign that you need to temporarily cut them off from your life. But, note that when you cut them off, you need to do your homework. When you cut people off, it doesn't mean that they're bad people; it means that you don't have a system on how to respond to them, because you still have internal things you need to work on in solitude without the presence of these people. When you've found a clarity, you can test it out and decide whether or not you want to keep them in your life.
Know that there are things cannot be changed, yet
One of the key of Drama Free Life is awareness. It's important to be aware of your own strength and personal-capacity. Being concerned on big things such as climate change or political issues or simply family issues is good; but, stressing about it too much is another thing. Stressing about things that cannot be changed is very energy consuming yet not going to make any progress. Instead of worrying on things you cannot change or stop (for now), try to make a difference by scale up your skill and worth. Those big issues matter, and it's very good that you're being concerned. But, being concerned itself won't change anything unless you make a move and plan your contribution. Train your skill, expand your knowledge, plan a movement. Complaining about things without making a difference makes you a Karen.
Make your life interesting and fun
Now you have a drama free life. You have plenty of times and energy because you don't have to babysit your tantrum friend, you're no longer walking around an eggshell to protect your aunt's feelings, you're no longer cleaning up someone else's mess, you're no longer anxious about your country political problems because you've got yourself a contribution plan, and you're now at peace. You're focusing more on your meaningful relationships with real and deeper connections, or you've come up with a new brilliant business plan because you just finished your business course, or you just moved to a new city to start a new life and career, or you're now writing novel inspired by your life journey on finding peace and fulfillment within yourself.
Now you see that you don't have to fill your life with unnecessary dramas so it'd be interesting and alive. A life without unnecessary dramas will give you inner peace and productivity and of course so much fun and even more alive and meaningful because you're living your best life to your fullest potentials. It is not guaranteed that your life will be all smooth and all about love and laugh, but that is life's dynamic. There will be challenges and dramas along the way, but now you know which one is worth to fight for and which one isn't.
_
Sending you so much love,
Maria Nersi
Comments